Funny Facebook Statuses

• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
• Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table n wish you’d ordered that.
• Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
• When my hands are cold I warm them between my thighs. Are your ears cold?
• A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”
•  My mom just learned how to text. And her text to me said "can you hear me?