Dirty Facebook Statuses

 

• what did right boob say to the left one - you are my "breast friend".
•  You keep smiling like that and everyone is gonna wonder what you did last night..
• Hands are so overrated..I think I’ll use my mouth..
• My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.
• The next person who tells me to stop acting like a child is getting hit in the face with my yoyo.
• I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.
• I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
• There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
• Wanna hear a clean joke? Johnny was taking a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man.do
• Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

Funny Whatsapp Quotes

• Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
• I'm not lazy ..just on energy saving mode.
• If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one!
• A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”
• My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business.
• More than 300 million active users on Facebook! You’re not alone!
• I dont insult people… I just describe them..lol
• Teacher: "You failed the test." Me:"You failed to educate."
• Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
• They say we learn from our mistakes; so I m making as many as possible!!!
  Soon I will be a genius.
• After getting drunk, Bachelor of Technology turns into Master of Philosophy.

Funny Facebook Statuses

• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
• Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table n wish you’d ordered that.
• Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
• When my hands are cold I warm them between my thighs. Are your ears cold?
• A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”
•  My mom just learned how to text. And her text to me said "can you hear me? 

Best Friend Wishes Quots

• May you have all the the answers to the questions posed to you in life or in the exams!
  Best wishes for success and excellence in all your endeavors
• Good friends are like stars.You don’t always see them but they’re always there
• A true friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are, and doesn't expect you to be anyone but who you choose to be.
• A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire
•  Friendship is not something that is written on paper, because paper can be torn. It is neither something that can be written on a rock, for even a rock can break. But it is written on the heart of a person, and it stays there forever.
• That was what a best friend did: hold up a mirror and show you your heart.
• Friendship is the precious gift from god so don't waste it just enjoy it.
• I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends.
  I’m surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends. - See more at: http://dailysmspk.net/best-friends-day-2013-greetings-wishes-sms/#sthash.0gTc5Jbw.dpuf
   I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends.
  I’m surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.
• True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost
• One day i may die without saying good bye to you
  But i will never forget to say thank you.
  Becouse you hold the most loveliest part in my life 

Sad Facebook Status Quotes

• says that its not the heartbreak that kills you, the pain comes from all the memories that you have.  
• It's amazing how someone can break your heart but you can love them with all the little pieces.

• Every Heart Has A Pain .. Only The Way Of Expression Is Different .. Some Hide It In Eyes While Some Hide In Their Smile.
• If someone breaks you as a person, don't worry! Someone else will help you heal. And then they'll break you too. Cruel world. Get used to it.
• Whenever you are stressed,eat chocolates,sweets etc, because when stressed is spelled backwards it becomes “DESSERTS”.
• Don't let the person that left you stop you from finding someone that wants to be with you.
• The one who likes you most, sometimes hurts you, but again he is the only one who feels your pain
•   Sometimes people have to cry out all their tears, to make room for a heart full of smiles.
• going to keep all secrets to myself since some people i can't trust :'( 
•   I used to think that worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone. 
• The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. 
• Tears are not a sign of weakness, but of courage. Hiding your emotions is self destructive and will never allow you to heal.
•   Tears are not a sign of weakness, but of courage. Hiding your emotions is self destructive and will never allow you to heal.
• If we are unhappy about how certain people treat us..it isn't their fault..We taught them it was "OK" by simply ALLOWING it to continue more than ONCE!
• You were the last thing I needed in my life. You were completely the wrong person to fall in love with.

Good Morning Wishes Quotes

•   A positive thought in a good morning message can help someone to start the day with a positive hope.
• A sweeter smile, a brighter day, hope everything turns out great for you Today! Good Morning!
• A Morning is a Wonderful Blessing, Either Cloudy or Sunny. It stands for Hope, giving.
• The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Don’t give up.
•  Eyes are not meant for tears and Heart is not meant for fear, Never get upset but always cheer.. Because you are the one who can make people smile for years!!!
• The biggest obstacle in our lives are
  the barriers which our mind creates.Start your day with positive thoughts...
  Good Morning.
• A new morning is a blessing of Allah, whether it is sunny or cloudy. Have a nice day. “Good Morning”.
• Every morning I get up & look into list of the richest people in world, If I’m not there, I go to work. Good Morning.
• Every new day welcomes new stage of life but you will enter in this new stage with my best wishes everyday. Good Morning.
• A day gone by is a day that will never come again. Time flies and so does the morning. Wake up, rise and shine. Good morning to you my dear friend.
• An excellent saying
  "The Dream is not what you see in sleep,Dream is the thing which does not let you sleep."
  Good morning!!!
• Like the sunshine in the morning, may this brighten your day, and remind you that you're thought of in a very warm way.
• Let me KISS your LIPS,Let me FEEL your TEETH,let me TASTE your TONGUE,this is your friend COLGATE! reminding u 2 brush.GOOD MORNING.
• You have to have a dream so u can get up in the morning.
  Get up now and turn ur dream into reality.
  Good Morning!!
• Waves r inspiring,Not becauuse they rise-n-fall;
  But because each time they fall,They never fail to rise again!Hope u rise
  always!Good Morning!

April Fool Quotes

 

• 
  Dearling,pls attend 2 these 4pple waiting outside 2 C U,they are my colleagues need a permanent home 2 live.there names are peace,joy,health & promotion.  
• 
  L=Loss
  O=Of
  V=velueble
  E=Education
• This is not SMS, it?s just an April Fool Trick
  Place a bottle of liquid dish soap into the toilet tank.
  The next person to flush the toilet will be greeted
  with an overwhelming amount of bubbles.
• This is MAGIC.
  Press down 6times,
  You can See your PHOTO
  1
  2
  3
  4
  5
  6
  Congrats! You are the First
  April Fool of the year
• 31st March Or 1st april
  Fool is Fool doesn’t matter.
  Wishing very happy, prosperous and joyful
  Fool Day to the King of Fools..  
• In your life, when you wake up & don't see any one, then come to me, i'll be there to hold ur hand & take you to the EYE SPECIALIST
  
  
  APRIL FOOL
• Hi Dear FOOL,
  Wish you a Happy April Fool Day.
  Today is your day.
• He took me from a bar,
  He took me in his car,
  He took my top off,
  He puts his lips on mine,
  but don”t worry,
  “I”m a bottle of wine!”
  April Fools Day!
• If you are in tension,
  If nothing seems right,
  If u find no way out,
  Then just think of me only once,
  I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions
• U r equal to sixty james bond!!!!!!!
  U know How??
  007 * 60 = 420